Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
this boner is exhausting
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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