The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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