I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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