I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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