they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
