I think I won the penis lottery.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
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