Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
