He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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