you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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