He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
