Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize
