John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
