Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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