I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
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Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
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GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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