I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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