Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
