bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
