Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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