I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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