im having a threesome with these popsicles
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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