I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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