Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
be right there i have to get my cape
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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