So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
