Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
