Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
