You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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