She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
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Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
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We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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