Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
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