I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
