Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Dicks are not precious.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
