He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
