Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
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