4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
