Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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