i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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