I think im going to throw up on grandma
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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