I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize