do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
