im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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