Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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