that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
