i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
50% drunk capacity currently
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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