Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
