I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
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I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
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Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
as a side note pls kill me
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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