separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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