drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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