then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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