oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
