i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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