The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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