Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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