she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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