How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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