i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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