Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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