my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
